The Swimming Carnival
I could see the shimmering water as I dived in.
I could smell the chlorine as I ducked under.
I could touch the wet water as I landed in the water.
I could taste the nerves as I lined up.
I could hear the cheering as I started the race.
I felt excited when I won the race.
By Tess B
WWW I like how you put the shimmering water.
EBI I think you could put what it feld like in the water.
WWW I also like how you seed I feld excited when I won the race.
From Sophie
A swimming carnival
I saw water coming up and down as people in and out.
I smelt everyone’s food as they were waiting for their race.
I touched the clean ,blue ,clear water as I swam.
I could taste the excitement & nerves in the air.
I could hear splash ,splash ,splash and splash.
I fell happy.
By Eliza
A swimming carnival
I saw water coming up and down as people in and out.
I smelt everyone’s food as they were waiting for their race.
I touched the clean ,blue ,clear water as I swam.
I could taste the excitement & nerves in the air.
I could hear splash ,splash ,splash and splash.
I fell happy.
By Eliza 🙂
Just me and the stroke
I could see the blur of the sparkling water when I ducked my head under.
I could smell the pool chlorine as it brushed on top of my face.
I could feel the clean sparkling water as I pulled my body through it.
I could taste the adrenalin rushing through my body.
I could hear the faint voices of people cheering my name.
I felt like I was in my own world and it’s not what I do it’s how I do it.
At the swimming carnival I could see people diving into the blue pool and racing against each other. I could smell my delicious lunch and the chlorine from the pool. I could feel the warm sun and the cool water splash onto me.
I could taste my nerves and my excitement.
I could only hear the sound of blue team cheering and I felt nervous and happy.
We’ll done Bailea, I felt like I was right there with you ,I loved how you described the warm sun and the cool water. Next time I think you could use a couple more adjectives just to make it that little bit more exiting. Great job make sure you keep up the amazing writing.
Diving into the pool
I saw the wall at the end of the pool.I could smell the chlorine from the clean water.I touched my friends on the back and I could taste the smell of victory.I heard people cheering and laughing.I was so excited.
The swimming carnival
I can see the other contestants, I can touch the cool breeze, I taste the happiness of all the other people winning, I hear cheering of all the people in the gold house. I felt happy for every one winning and losing.
The Swimming Carnival
I could see the shimmering, blue water and the happy swimmers.
I could smell the chlorine and sunscreen.
I could touch the blue water and the fake grass.
I could taste the nerves and excitement.
I could hear people cheering and talking.
I felt excited and proud when I won the race.
Sophie Rob
I could see red, yellow, blue, and green house cheering for each of us swimming
In the clear, blue pool. We could smell the chlorine that they use to clean the clear,blue pool. I could feel the cold,rushing water. The one hundred layers of sun cream on my itchy most bites. Sitting on Poojanie’s shorts. I could taste the nerves waiting for my race. I could hear all the teams cheering and sun cream lids opening and closing and lots of people getting in the pool. I felt happy when I got in the nice cold pool.
Swimming carnival
I could see my friends racing in the pool
I could smell the sunscreen everyone was wearing
I could touch the fake grass we were sitting on
I could taste the nerves of everyone
I could hear splashing of everyone
I felt exited because It was my race.
We where halfway through the carnival I could see the
race that was happening there was tension everywhere.
I opened my lunchbox picked up a biscuit I could smell the salty scent and
I felt the rough texture.
I could hear Henry Pat and I cheering
I felt happy cheering for my team.
By Finn
The swimming carnival
I could see the water ,house colours and warm grass.
I could smell the sunscreen and food.
I could touch grass, ribbons and water.
I could taste pool water and sunscreen.
I could hear words and birds.
I felt cool.
When I finished my race I could see the blue ribbon being passed to me. When I was about to dive in I could smell the chlorine of the big pool beneath me. The whistle blew and I dove in. I could touch the nice cold water of the pool as my hands hit it. I was about to finish and I could taste the excitement when I touched the wall and realised I had won! I went back to gold team and heard lots of splashing as people dove into the pool and teams chanting. I felt happy that I had tried my best and had a great day!
Swimming carnival snap shot
I see happy children with ribbons, the warm sun and grass.
I can smell kids snacks, the chlorine in the pool and lots of sunscreen.
I touch my towel , the cold water and the wind blowing against my back.
I taste the excitement of swimmers, the victory of winning and yummy food.
I hear splashes of water, children cheering and children chatting.
I felt happy for all the winners and the people that helped out in the carnival.
I could see water,people and the bottom of the pool
I could smell chlorine and sunscreen
I could touch water and the hot sun
I could taste the chlorine
I could here everyone cheering and water splashing
I felt happy.
Olivia R
I see the wall as I was coming back.I could smell the chlorine from the pool.I could touch the nice cold water and taste my lunch From earlier.
I could hear the water as it splashed onto my back I could also hear all the kids cheering.I felt excited because I was nearly at the wall.
The swimming carnival
When we got there everything was already set up.
First we went to the pool.
A few minutes later we saw a lot of people swimming already.
When I opend my lunchbox I could smell my sushi a lot.
When it was my turn I was racing James Gorman,Chris and Jason.
I started in the water and so did Chris and Jason.
When I got in I could feel the water rushing everywhere.
Then mr.Knox blew the whistle and we started going I could here everybody cheering us on.
At the end I was first and I won the 1st ribbon.
I felt happy as I was walking back to school.
Well done Nell, I love your writing. I would love to see some really awesome adjectives (decribing words) to make it even better. I was very proud of your swimming and your ‘have a go attitude’ on that day. Well done, dad
The swim carnival. I could see the blue pool & colours
I could smell food & the pool.
I could feel the white sun cream & the cool pool.
I could taste excitement.
I could hear people splashing in the pool.
I felt happy for blue & green team.
Wow Nicholas. Great writing and some good descriptions.
I was so proud of you swimming in an event you didn’t even put down for and I didn’t even know you could swim.
Never be afraid and always give it a go.
Well done. (mum)
The swimming carnival
As I ate my lunch I could see people diving into the water.
I could smell the chlorine. When I dived in I touched the clear
blue water. As I got out I could taste the fun in air, I could hear
everyone cheering
The swimming carnival.
I could see the blue water and the people cheering
I could smell the chlorine and the fack grass
I could touch the water as I got in and my toll as I got out
I could tasted the nerve in the air
I could hear cheering and the pool as people divided in
I felt excited to come 3 in my race
I could see the end of the pool far away.
I could smell the chlorine in the pool.
I could touch the shiny water in the pool.
I could taste the suspense in the air.
I could hear the loud cheering.
I felt proud because I won the race.
Harrison
The swimming carnival
I can see the other contestants, I can touch the cool breeze, I taste the happiness
of all the other people winning, I hear cheering of all the people in the gold
house. I felt happy for every one winning and losing
The Swimming Carnival
Yesterday the grad 3/4s and 5/6s had the swimming carnival.
All the people had goggles on and on the stands.
When I swam in the chlorine water.
Before the race I could see the grass and my friends and I could hear cheering
splashes and people swimming.I came 2ed in 2 races.I was proud.
They were talking about complements and writing.
In the complements one,one of them gave the other kid a complement.
And in the writing one they said where to put the comers and stuff like that.
The Swimming Carnival
I could see the shimmering water as I dived in.
I could smell the chlorine as I ducked under.
I could touch the wet water as I landed in the water.
I could taste the nerves as I lined up.
I could hear the cheering as I started the race.
I felt excited when I won the race.
By Tess B
Awesome writing and congratulations on winning your race!
Jac
Great job Tess!!
great job Tess on writing this but my EBI is that you should put diferent word insted of I.
Thanks maddie
Hi Tess,
WWW I like how you put the shimmering water.
EBI I think you could put what it feld like in the water.
WWW I also like how you seed I feld excited when I won the race.
From Sophie
Great job Tess.
A swimming carnival
I saw water coming up and down as people in and out.
I smelt everyone’s food as they were waiting for their race.
I touched the clean ,blue ,clear water as I swam.
I could taste the excitement & nerves in the air.
I could hear splash ,splash ,splash and splash.
I fell happy.
By Eliza
Awesome writing Lizey – well done.
Mum
I feel happy reading this snapshot 🙂
Good job Lizie!
well done lizey . You made me feel like I was in the water all over again.
What races did you swim in?
nice work Eliza I don’t think there is anything that is bad,so well done to you and amazing work!
maddie!:)
The Swimming Carnival.
I could see the blue chorine in the pool.
I smell the chorine in the pool.
I touched the nice green grass.
I could taste the happiness of the day.
I could hear the cheering of the team’s.
I felt happy.
By Sophie
A swimming carnival
I saw water coming up and down as people in and out.
I smelt everyone’s food as they were waiting for their race.
I touched the clean ,blue ,clear water as I swam.
I could taste the excitement & nerves in the air.
I could hear splash ,splash ,splash and splash.
I fell happy.
By Eliza 🙂
Just me and the stroke
I could see the blur of the sparkling water when I ducked my head under.
I could smell the pool chlorine as it brushed on top of my face.
I could feel the clean sparkling water as I pulled my body through it.
I could taste the adrenalin rushing through my body.
I could hear the faint voices of people cheering my name.
I felt like I was in my own world and it’s not what I do it’s how I do it.
Wonderful writing Jess! I feel like I was right there with you.
Sara E
Great writing Jess.
Brilliant description Jess! I loved reading your writing in the newsletter – well done.
Love it, good job!
Awesome Jess!
It is a great snapshot piece of writing.
What races did you swim in
Thanks Charlotte for the comment and I swam in the 50 meter backstroke and the 50 meter breast stroke.
Jess, I like how you put a lot of effort into it.
The swimming carnival
At the swimming carnival I could see people diving into the blue pool and racing against each other. I could smell my delicious lunch and the chlorine from the pool. I could feel the warm sun and the cool water splash onto me.
I could taste my nerves and my excitement.
I could only hear the sound of blue team cheering and I felt nervous and happy.
Great writing Bailea!
I really felt like I was there!
We’ll done Bailea, I felt like I was right there with you ,I loved how you described the warm sun and the cool water. Next time I think you could use a couple more adjectives just to make it that little bit more exiting. Great job make sure you keep up the amazing writing.
Diving into the pool
I saw the wall at the end of the pool.I could smell the chlorine from the clean water.I touched my friends on the back and I could taste the smell of victory.I heard people cheering and laughing.I was so excited.
The swimming carnival
I can see the other contestants, I can touch the cool breeze, I taste the happiness of all the other people winning, I hear cheering of all the people in the gold house. I felt happy for every one winning and losing.
The Swimming Carnival
I could see the shimmering, blue water and the happy swimmers.
I could smell the chlorine and sunscreen.
I could touch the blue water and the fake grass.
I could taste the nerves and excitement.
I could hear people cheering and talking.
I felt excited and proud when I won the race.
Sophie Rob
Well done Sophie, great writing!
Go Soph!!
Makes me want to jump in the water too Soph! Great writing
Swimming carnival
I could see red, yellow, blue, and green house cheering for each of us swimming
In the clear, blue pool. We could smell the chlorine that they use to clean the clear,blue pool. I could feel the cold,rushing water. The one hundred layers of sun cream on my itchy most bites. Sitting on Poojanie’s shorts. I could taste the nerves waiting for my race. I could hear all the teams cheering and sun cream lids opening and closing and lots of people getting in the pool. I felt happy when I got in the nice cold pool.
By Charlotte
It makes me feel like going to the pool!
Great writing Charlotte.
Very evocative writing. Brings back feelings of being a kid at the pool. I enjoyed reading it.
Very descriptive Charlotte – I felt like I was there!!! 🙂
Great Job Charlotte!!!
From Jade!!!
Thanks Jade!
you swam REALLY well.
From Charlotte 🙂
Swimming carnival
I could see my friends racing in the pool
I could smell the sunscreen everyone was wearing
I could touch the fake grass we were sitting on
I could taste the nerves of everyone
I could hear splashing of everyone
I felt exited because It was my race.
Nice work Luke very inpressed
Super exiting.Well done
Finn
Swimming carnival
See: people behind me.
Smell: the chlorine.
Touch: the water when I was swimming.
Taste: the fresh air.
Hear: cheering for me
I felt: happy when I won my race.
The swimming carnival
We where halfway through the carnival I could see the
race that was happening there was tension everywhere.
I opened my lunchbox picked up a biscuit I could smell the salty scent and
I felt the rough texture.
I could hear Henry Pat and I cheering
I felt happy cheering for my team.
By Finn
Great writing Finn – I love the cheering part!
great work finn do even better next time finn finn
when we were sitting down I heard every one Cheering and eating lunch so I ate too.When they were racing I saw the blue water
The swimming carnival
I could see the water ,house colours and warm grass.
I could smell the sunscreen and food.
I could touch grass, ribbons and water.
I could taste pool water and sunscreen.
I could hear words and birds.
I felt cool.
St Michaels Swimming Carnival Snapshot
When I finished my race I could see the blue ribbon being passed to me. When I was about to dive in I could smell the chlorine of the big pool beneath me. The whistle blew and I dove in. I could touch the nice cold water of the pool as my hands hit it. I was about to finish and I could taste the excitement when I touched the wall and realised I had won! I went back to gold team and heard lots of splashing as people dove into the pool and teams chanting. I felt happy that I had tried my best and had a great day!
By Jade
Well done Jade! Great swimming and great writing! It was a fun day 🙂
I feel the excitement when I read this! Great effort Jadey 🙂
Well Done Jade it tells me alot even if I was in one of your races.
How did you go in your other races?
I went really good in my other race, thank you Charlotte. 🙂
Swimming carnival snap shot
I see happy children with ribbons, the warm sun and grass.
I can smell kids snacks, the chlorine in the pool and lots of sunscreen.
I touch my towel , the cold water and the wind blowing against my back.
I taste the excitement of swimmers, the victory of winning and yummy food.
I hear splashes of water, children cheering and children chatting.
I felt happy for all the winners and the people that helped out in the carnival.
You make it sound like so much fun Adele. I enjoyed reading your snapshot.
Sara E
It sounds like you had lots of fun!!!!!
What races did you do?
That was really good adele!
Great job Adele!
Swimming carnival
I could see water,people and the bottom of the pool
I could smell chlorine and sunscreen
I could touch water and the hot sun
I could taste the chlorine
I could here everyone cheering and water splashing
I felt happy.
Olivia R
It was good to read your snapshot about the swimming carnival . Well done
M
That’s fantastic. How did you go?
Great job Olivia. 🙂
The swimming carnival
I see the wall as I was coming back.I could smell the chlorine from the pool.I could touch the nice cold water and taste my lunch From earlier.
I could hear the water as it splashed onto my back I could also hear all the kids cheering.I felt excited because I was nearly at the wall.
The swimming carnival
When we got there everything was already set up.
First we went to the pool.
A few minutes later we saw a lot of people swimming already.
When I opend my lunchbox I could smell my sushi a lot.
When it was my turn I was racing James Gorman,Chris and Jason.
I started in the water and so did Chris and Jason.
When I got in I could feel the water rushing everywhere.
Then mr.Knox blew the whistle and we started going I could here everybody cheering us on.
At the end I was first and I won the 1st ribbon.
I felt happy as I was walking back to school.
At the swimming carnival I could see lots of things like the bright blue water, all of the kids, all the swimming and the splashing water of the pool.
I could smell the chlorine in the pool.
I could touch the water and my food.
I could taste the chlorine in the pool.
I could hear the cheering and splashing of the pool.
I felt happy for trying and not giving up.
By Nell L
Well done Nell, I love your writing. I would love to see some really awesome adjectives (decribing words) to make it even better. I was very proud of your swimming and your ‘have a go attitude’ on that day. Well done, dad
Thanks dad. I will try and put more adjectives in next time. Nell☺️
The swim carnival. I could see the blue pool & colours
I could smell food & the pool.
I could feel the white sun cream & the cool pool.
I could taste excitement.
I could hear people splashing in the pool.
I felt happy for blue & green team.
Wow Nicholas. Great writing and some good descriptions.
I was so proud of you swimming in an event you didn’t even put down for and I didn’t even know you could swim.
Never be afraid and always give it a go.
Well done. (mum)
The swimming carnival
As I ate my lunch I could see people diving into the water.
I could smell the chlorine. When I dived in I touched the clear
blue water. As I got out I could taste the fun in air, I could hear
everyone cheering
Lovely writing Lal and thanks for introducing me to blogging.
M
Thanks Mum!
Great work Lal.
Good luck in the inter-school swimming on Monday.
Lisa 🙂
Great job lauren make shore you always try your hardest your a great swimmer!
The swimming carnival.
I could see the blue water and the people cheering
I could smell the chlorine and the fack grass
I could touch the water as I got in and my toll as I got out
I could tasted the nerve in the air
I could hear cheering and the pool as people divided in
I felt excited to come 3 in my race
I could see the end of the pool far away.
I could smell the chlorine in the pool.
I could touch the shiny water in the pool.
I could taste the suspense in the air.
I could hear the loud cheering.
I felt proud because I won the race.
Harrison
I liked your snapshot.
I think it was very detaled.
Great describing Harrison!
The swimming carnival
I can see the other contestants, I can touch the cool breeze, I taste the happiness
of all the other people winning, I hear cheering of all the people in the gold
house. I felt happy for every one winning and losing
The Swimming Carnival
Yesterday the grad 3/4s and 5/6s had the swimming carnival.
All the people had goggles on and on the stands.
When I swam in the chlorine water.
Before the race I could see the grass and my friends and I could hear cheering
splashes and people swimming.I came 2ed in 2 races.I was proud.
They were talking about complements and writing.
In the complements one,one of them gave the other kid a complement.
And in the writing one they said where to put the comers and stuff like that.